Now that everyone’s back at work this week, I’ve been swamped with emails. A lot of them involve people I don’t know, or don’t know well, asking me for stuff – usually my thoughts. For free, oftentimes.

I do try to help people out when I can be useful and have time. But I’m busy. Sometimes I’m traveling, sometimes in meetings, sometimes researching and writing. I’d love to sit around and just help people with their problems all day for free, but that’s just not what I do.

It’s incredibly nice that my activities generate so much word of mouth that people seek me out for advice. But I have to be honest, there’s a bit of a pecking order for free advice. It’s roughly: (1) I know you well and like you a lot, (2) I don’t know you well and like you a lot, (3) I don’t know you well but want to like you a lot, and (4) I don’t know you well and don’t like you a lot.

Where are you in this mix relative to the person you’re asking help from?

Now, money or other compensation changes the equation. But what I’m interested in is people taking advantage of those who are freely, lethally generous to their communities. I’m a fan of the Christian phrase about Jesus helping those who help themselves. So, if you don’t know me well, and don’t offer me much or anything in return, please don’t simply ask me straight out for an “influential blog reading list,” or contacts for “everyone I should follow on Twitter,” or “where is Gov 2.0 going?”

Instead, show me some evidence that you’ve done as much as you can for yourself. Then, see what value proposition you can offer me that can help you take yourself to the next level. Sometimes buying me a cup of coffee and chatting with me is all the time you need. Maybe you could offer me a guest blog post on your website, or introduce me to a contact of yours I might find interesting. Or maybe you can convince me that you’re someone I should know better. Whatever.

I don’t need to whip out contracts, have signed NDA’s, and charge people 1000 bucks for a snippet of advice. But that doesn’t mean I’m just sitting around in my slippers waiting for Help Line requests to come in, either. When you’re going to request something from a busy person – and realize, you’re not the only one – think about their side of the equation, too. Empathize with me so I can empathize back.

Help me help you.

Posted via email from Mark’s Cheeky Posterous